WHAT SHOULD BUFFS CALL ME

when my friends ask if i want to go to dollar wells

when i go to chick-fil-a

when i get to the dispensary at 7:02 

when my friends and i prepare to walk home from the bars

when the walrus gave me a bottle of champagne on my 21st

when i went to nitro for the first time

when ripple doesn’t have my favorite flavor fro-yo

when freshmen go out on the hill the first week of school

when boulder is ranked top party school, best place to live, city that looks best naked, and most educated city

when the bums in front of the fox ask if i can spare any change